Promise Keepers
In James 5:12 it says “… let your yes be yes and your no be no…”
Our kids learn about the world and humanity through their relationships with us first, with this gradually expanding as they get older to include other influential adults; such as teachers, sports coaches and extended family members. Through these relationships kids develop their sense of abstract concepts like truth and trust. Do these things exist? Are they absolute or are they relative? Should I embrace them and use them?
I used to drive my kids mad when they would ask to do something because I would always say “We’ll see” or “If we have time” or some other qualifying comment in my answer unless I was 100% sure I could deliver on my promise. Now although this was frustrating at times for them, my kids learned that when Dad gives his word on something it will happen. I like to think that this might have shaped how they look at their heavenly father’s promises; if He says He will do it, He’ll do it! I do know that they have developed a genuine trust in me at least.
Kids don’t need a world where a parent’s word is subject to change depending on how tired we are, how busy we are, or how circumstances have now changed. They need to be able to rely on you keeping your promises. This then allows them to see that truth and trust are real and how they should operate. This said if circumstances do prevent you delivering on a promise then just explain it simply and honestly to your child, but remember they are not stupid so your explanation needs to be genuine because kids will hold you to account for your track record on promise keeping like no-one else on earth.
It is also a great teaching moment for kids that if they give their word they have to see it through. Take for example joining the new team, trying a new after-school activity or taking up a new musical instrument. Our kids need to know that giving your word, making a promise, carries with it the responsibility to see it through. This helps them to grow into thoughtful, honest young adults who keep a promise once given. And remember some of those promises are big; I promise to love and cherish you in sickness and in health, I promise Jesus to follow you, for example.
Like it or not as parents you are the primary example of God in your child’s life. So let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t make a promise you can’t keep because God never promises what He can’t deliver, and we want our kids to see God as the perfect father; someone to trust entirely, a promise keeper who never fails us.
